First off, a few pieces of housekeeping: Carpenters released
their first Christmas album in 1978, it was titled, Christmas Portrait and is the album I’m discussing in this entry. Being
big fans of the holiday genre and putting together songs for their 1977 and
1978 Christmas television specials, the siblings recorded far too many holiday songs
to fit onto one album, so the additional tracks were shelved, later to surface
in the posthumous 1984 Carpenters album, An Old Fashioned Christmas. The second holiday album should have been released
as an eight song EP, as it contained only seven songs with Karen’s miraculous lead
(“Home For The Holidays,” “Little Alter Boy,” “Do You Hear What I Hear?” "He Came Here For Me,” “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?,” “I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day,” and the 1974 winter single, released almost simultaneously with
their #1 hit “Please Mr. Postman,” “Santa Clause Is Coming To Town”). Other
than the Karen leads (and the softhearted title track, sung by Richard), An Old Fashioned Christmas is largely
forgettable and not recommended. Also in 1984, A&M Records released a “special
edition” CD version of Christmas Portrait,
which mishandles the entire enterprise altogether, including far too many
orchestrations from An Old Fashioned
Christmas and completely botching the sequencing of the original Christmas Portrait songs. I highly
recommend you avoid the “special edition,” CD/iTunes album and opt, instead,
for the 1996 Christmas Collection,
which includes both holiday albums, including the original (albeit remixed) Christmas Portrait. You’ve been warned.
Now on with the review:
Richard and Karen Carpenter were born to make a Christmas
album (and had been interested in doing so since they exploded onto the music
scene in 1970), because the Christmas album genre plays so succinctly to their musical
strengths: strong vocals, inventive, melodic arrangements, and old-fashioned
loveliness. Based loosely on Spike Jones’ 1956 holiday album, It’s A Spike Jones Christmas, to which the
siblings grew up listening (and is now available for download on iTunes, as Let’s Sing A Song Of Christmas and is
well-worth adding to your holiday collection – note: longtime fans of Christmas Portrait will be surprised at
just how much the siblings actually lifted from the Jones’ album), Christmas Portrait includes many of the
tunes featured on that album as well as a few sacred songs of the season (i.e.,
“Silent Night,” “Ave Maria,” and Richard’s lead on the sublime album opener,
“Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel,” which is followed by a remarkable instrumental
overture, building anticipation to Karen’s stunning introductory lead in “The Christmas Waltz”) and a re-recorded version of their 1970 single and
Carpenter-penned holiday standard, “Merry Christmas Darling.” Note: while the
1978 recording is far superior, the lovely original version can be found on the
boxed set, From The Top, and the
repackaged boxed set, The Essential
Collection).
Most of the songs from Christmas
Portrait were originally introduced to the public via the sibling’s horrendous
(and top-rated) 1977 televised Christmas special, The Carpenters At Christmas, which did nothing to endear the duo to
rock critics (and that didn’t matter, anyway, as the duo’s non-holiday music
career spiraled further and further into Captain And Tennille-chasing, Air Supply-inspiring, adult-contemporary irrelevance/Hell). Replete with cornball
skits and tacky, over-the-top dance numbers, the special regularly makes an
appearance on YouTube around the holidays and is recommended for completests
and Carpenter-philes only (among the
ranks of which, of course, I count myself). The music therein, however, is marvelous.
The remainder of the songs that made up the eventual Christmas album (strangely,
released almost a year later, in October of 1978) was featured on the duo’s
1978 Christmas Special, the aptly titled, Christmas Portrait, which was just as horrific as the first (the television special, that is, where Karen opens with the privileged, oblivious line, "Merry Christmas, EVERYONE!").
But as stated earlier, the music was sublime, including two of my favorite Karen
Carpenter vocals, specifically, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” and “Ave Maria,” which, with it’s crazy, high
register-to-low register, is almost impossible to sing, yet, Karen Carpenter
makes it sound effortless (she reportedly nailed the vocal in one take). Simply
exquisite.
But mostly, Richard’s and Karen’s classic Christmas album
takes me back to the farm. It takes me back to decorating the Christmas tree on
Thanksgiving day with Sis, Jeff, Heather, and Harlan; it takes me back to watching
the glow of the tree lights at night and dreaming of what I might find underneath
on December 25th (that seemed to take FOREVER to arrive). Christmas Portrait takes me back to Christmas Eve services at
church, it takes me back to staying up all night on the 24th with Jeff and
Harlan (we were too excited to sleep!), and to rising before dawn, watching with
my brothers the torturous, taunting clock creep forward until everyone else eventually
arose in the morning. Christmas Portrait
takes me back to my father’s handsome, red velvet smoking jacket, to my beautiful
mother, who meticulously orchestrated the scrumptious holiday meals, it takes
me back to visits from older siblings (from far away and from close by). Christmas Portrait takes me back to
waiting my turn to open a present, and to gorging myself on turkey and
stuffing, and to eventually passing out from
exhaustion by 8pm Christmas night. Christmas Portrait annually reignites those memories and keeps them
alive for me. I presume it always will.
